Despite my warnings of his vulnerability, my son was sexually assaulted as an inpatient—my advice was ignored. Trauma from this led to behaviours that social workers used to justify removing him from our home. When I raised safeguarding concerns, professionals deflected blame onto me and our family, accusing us of causing anxiety. Cost-cutting and poor care providers worsened his distress. My concerns—and my son’s voice—were dismissed repeatedly, until I resorted to installing a covert camera to expose the harm and the fact that my son was being physically and psychologically abused. The system failed us at every turn.
My son, once a joyful young man, now lives in a near-constant state of hypervigilance. Despite repeated reassurances, he anticipates harm daily and he remains in survival mode. He displays trauma responses regularly: withdrawing, and bracing for danger even in safe environments. The impact has left him emotionally distant, unable to trust, and a shadow of the vibrant person he once was.
As his mother, after years of witnessing his distress, navigating unsafe care environments, and fighting for him has left me with symptoms of PTSD. I experience anxiety, panic attacks, and disturbed sleep. I mistrust most care staff and I second-guess everything, constantly scanning for risk, trying to protect him from further harm. The emotional toll is immense.
What I wish the public service had done differently
I wish they had believed us and made changes when my son’s needs were not being met, I wish they had taken a person-centred approach instead of pretending to, I wish they had not made cost a priority over my son’s safety. I wish they understood that they should work with families who know the person best and not isolate them.
My advice to public service leaders
Imagine if a vulnerable person was YOUR child, brother, sister, relative. Put themselves in a parents shoes. Also that a person should not be making decisions when they pay no price if that decision is wrong. There should also be a very high standard of training for all those looking after vulnerable people and those who do not make the grade should not be carers.
Cerebra’s report on Systems Generated Trauma is so important
Because there are so many parents like me, parents who feel they are between a rock and a hard place with no end in sight who have no choice but for their loved one to be in the system for various reasons. This needs to be highlighted. Additionally, I feel some of this trauma by the system was not ‘unintentional’ at all.
